If this is your first time to visit this blog, start at the bottom with "My 1st Adoption Post" and work your way to the newest post, at the top of the page. Thanks for coming on this journey with me... I'm glad you are here...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A Corner Turned.

Addie came to me the other day and said this:
"When I came home, I didn't let you hold me."
Me: I know. Why?
Her: Cause. I was scared. But, now I not scared. Now, I let you hold me.

And, it is true. In the past month or so there has been a sweetness that hadn't been.
She has stroked my hair as I have read Mr. Popper's Penguins. She has laid her head in my lap and stroked my leg. She has kissed me. And, told me she loves me.

Some of these things she had done before, but not on her own. It was always after a brother or her sister had done it first, and she was parroting them...as if she needed to learn how to give love. That is it, I think. She didn't know. With Tony, she knew. She had a deep bond with him before she ever came home, but with another adult, she didn't.

And, now she does.

A friend of mine says "It seems like we turn a corner, and then, we turn another, until finally I realize we have gone not in a square, but in a circle, where we are right back where have started." And so it goes with adoption. It is a work. A work in progress. We take 2 steps forward, and a step back. (She cut up one of the cork tiles I had hanging above my desk in the school room later! Cutting is a behavior she does to test if the love is still there)

And, so it goes...but today, I rejoice in the amazing insight and articulation of our 5 year old of what was...and what is...


missy said...

rejoicing with you.

separateblogger said...

awww, so sweet. Your addie sounds so much like my K*. I can see so many of the same things. She gives love after she sees another demonstrate how. But occasionally there is a freely-given dose of love that seems to come genuinely from the heart. Awww, it makes me cry when it happens. I have so much love to give her, but sometimes it feels like I am giving my love to a brick wall!
thanks for sharing about your Addie.